I had a love/hate relationship with nursing my babies. With my first one, Bella, I was young, overwhelmed and severely sleep-deprived (some might say I was a crazy emotional person). A 24 hour labor and birthing a 10 pound 3 oz. baby took a toll on me, and then add in latching on problems…there were tears. Lots of tears. I only lasted a few months with my first baby, but no matter how I was feeding her, I loved that quiet time together. The way she looked up into my eyes…it was like seeing into her soul. No words can describe that deep, overpowering feeling of love and gratitude that comes with bonding with your baby.
With my second little one, Elsa, well this was a different story. This girl was born to be on the boob! We had a little trouble with nursing in the hospital, but I called in those wonderful nurses many times to help me until I got the hang of it again. I remember Elsa holding onto my finger as she nursed and she would look intensely up into my eyes. Her eyes have always been wise beyond her years. It made me think, “what’s going on in that little mind of yours?”. Long story short, Elsa never cared to take a bottle of breast-milk if my hubby and I wanted a night out. I was on a strict 2 hour schedule. We would be out with friends and all of the sudden, it’s like “uh-oh! feeding time! time to go!” This lasted until Elsa was 2 years old. At first, I was a bit restless, having to be home so much, working less, and laying around nursing when there were so many things that needed to get done. But then I realized, this wonderful, silly little girl needs me the most. She needs the nourishment only I can give her, she needs the emotional security that comes with nursing, and everything else can wait. This only lasts a short time. And I want to cherish it.
I tearfully weaned Elsa for good the day before her third birthday. My husband and I were leaving for Portland, Oregon the following day (I know I know we’re bad parents, leaving on her birthday-but we did throw her an awesome party the week before) so it was time. I do enjoy the freedom that comes with not having a child attached to my chest anymore, but God do I miss it. Those snuggles, watching her play with her little feet, feeling her skin on mine. What pains me the most is that I never had anyone capture those sweet moments. I was so wrapped up in photographing other people and building my business that I forgot to slow down and hire someone to document my life.
I’m so happy to be offering lifestyle nursing sessions for other mamas. And if you aren’t nursing, don’t let that hold you back from booking a session! It’s not necessarily about how you’re feeding your baby-it’s more about the emotional bonding that comes with it. That’s what I want to document. That’s what you want to remember.
A mama of two seriously adorable little ones came to my home for a relaxed 20 minute nursing session this morning. While it was wonderful and so fulfilling to be able to gift her these images, I wouldn’t be lying if I said I teared up watching her video. I so wish I had images like these of my babies and I. Don’t wait. They are only little once.